Strider

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost."--J.R.R. Tolkien 

 

Generally, it's easy for me to sidestep the snares laid by the "easy" enemies of our popular culture.  I can quite readily sneer at magazines and "reality" television shows.  It's something else entirely to confront and explore the shadows in myself, to catch myself straying from my path into all that crazy-making number crunching, and somehow navigate my way back out of that.  Those numbers, diminishing from week to week, are voluptuous and decadent in their own way.  They murmur to us, with words fraught with meaning and hope, and they tease us, sometimes skittering in entirely the wrong direction.  How much we invest in the utterances of the great oracle on the bathroom floor!

 

A year ago, my cholesterol and triglycerides were high, and my blood pressure was edging its way up there, as well.  My doctor made some recommendations, none of which were terribly innovative or surprising.  After finally implementing those suggestions, I was interested in seeing whether I'd managed to effect any appreciable change in my bloodwork.  When I received my test results this week, I was pleasantly surprised to see significant changes for the better.  

 

I've spent a couple of days thinking about those numbers, trying to find a way to express what I'm feeling about them.  I've never had occasion to feel inspired or excited about something like my cholesterol, or my blood pressure, but these test results have seized my mind in a way the scale can't touch.  Certainly, I can cite a previous weight, and my present weight, and demonstrate that I have in fact lost weight.  But... despite that progress, I'm still a long way from my as-yet-elusive "goal" weight.  But my blood pressure?  It's lovely.  My cholesterol?  Gorgeous.  Triglycerides?  Well on their way to being a work of art!  And the great thing about these numbers, versus the numbers of the scale, is that they are not remotely tied to my vanity.  It's highly unlikely anyone will write sonnets about my delightful cholesterol and triglycerides, nor will wars be fought over the beauty of my blood pressure.  These numbers don't announce themselves to the world as do those of the scale or tape measure.  They just inhabit me, quietly going about their business, doing what they do.

 

There is a vast wilderness ahead of me.  I have miles, and miles, and miles to go, but for the moment, I am content to bask in the priceless treasure of a realization that my course is not determined by a scale, and that, though this gold may not glitter, it is still precious (oh ho ho, noooo, not Precious).  I've done something wonderful for myself, in choosing to undertake this journey.  My body is responding to the choices I'm making, not just by fitting into smaller clothes, but by functioning as it should.  I have tangible evidence of improved health.  My journey is becoming clearer... it is so much greater and more life-affirming than simply trying to "lose weight."  The treasure that awaits at journey's end is already in my grasp.  Set aside the focus on losing, and embrace in its place a focus on gaining -- gaining health, and wellness, and strength, and fortitude.